Technology in the Bedroom

Here's the thing, I can do this; I have the skill. Back in the summer of 2005 I spent a good deal of time learning how to operate heavy machinery. Me and the guys would occasionally park our diggers behind the fence near the bus stop and sneak people's hats off or tie their shoe laces together just for practice. Everyone on the crew knew that the real test of skill was undressing a woman.

The problem with a skill like this is that only Italian women seem to appreciate the talent necessary to perform some erotic foreplay with a mechanical shovel. All the American women who I have suggested this too gave me a resolute no, even the girl I met on match.com.

Eventually I ended up posting my mechanical shovel on Craig's List to try to sell it. It was in good as new condition as it had only been used to strip mannequins, and believe it or not I found someone who had been aching to be disrobed by just such a machine; especially as mine was diesel. We began a correspondence via email and and she told me how her former boyfriend, Mike Mulligan, used to strip her with a steam shovel, but that was too hot and noisy so she left him. Since then she had been searching for another person who could satisfy her interest in this activity. We became fast friends and then lovers.

And that, dear reader, is how Melissa and I met.